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Medicine Personal Statement

I have always had a very philanthropic approach to life. Living with my one hundred year old grandfather has allowed me to appreciate the frailties of the human body.

When he had prostatitis, I went with him to hospital where he was taken to the geriatrics ward. This experience provided me with a valuable insight into care of the elderly at a professional level. From this experience, I discovered that a career in medicine could be very rewarding.

Being a naturally compassionate person, I take great pleasure in serving my local community. I participated in an NHS scheme to provide free health-care and advice to the elderly in my area.

Living in such a diverse community, I was able to utilise my ability to speak both fluent English and Punjabi by relaying requests and advice by the doctors to the elderly.

As a result, my communication skills between the doctors and patients were developed. This event gave me an opportunity to observe and speak to the doctors regarding a medical career.

The annual ‘old people’s party’ at my school aims to provide the elderly with an enjoyable day out where they can socialise with each other and students from the school.

I have been consistently helping to run this event successfully for the last few years. My desire to contribute to society, particularly the older generation, stems from my years of care for my grandfather.

I volunteered at a primary school where, for the past year, I have been working alongside the teachers, to aid the development of the children through active learning. A different approach was required to interact with the children than with the elderly.

This required me to adapt to my situation both quickly and effectively. With my desire to actively help people, all my experiences have made me even more determined to accomplish my ambition to become a doctor.

My aspiration for a medical degree can be seen from my love of science, which is reflected in my choice of A-levels.

Good time management skills, self-motivation and ability to cope under pressure are essential for success in these subjects.

Maths and physics has improved my problem solving and critical thinking skills, allowing me to apply what I have learnt to everyday situations.

Chemistry and biology have furthered my interests in medicine and helped me to improve my analytical skills. The qualities acquired from studying these subjects, I believe, are crucial for any good doctor.

My academic ability has been recognised as I have twice received Slough Grammar’s most prestigious award at their annual prize giving ceremony.

This is given in recognition of outstanding academic achievements throughout the school year, thereby showing my consistency through a mature approach to my studies.

I am attending a course on how to understand and translate Sikh scriptures, requiring patience as well as an open mind, due to the extreme complexity of the literature.

The local Scout group is where I have been able to learn, apply and practise numerous skills and attributes, which I feel, would be invaluable to become a successful medical student.

Teamwork has always been emphasised by my leaders. This is tested on survival courses where our communication, motivational and leadership skills are needed to successfully complete the expeditions.

Away from physical activities, keeping the mind exercised is important. I regularly play with a team, winning several team tournaments.

Playing chess has improved my power of concentration, allowing me to stay focused on a task over a sustained period. This is essential in a medical degree as mistakes cannot be made when diagnosing or treating patients.

As there is a great deal of human interaction between doctors and patients, good communication skills are essential.

My work experience in a clothes store in the summer gave me a chance to interact with customers and improve upon my interaction skills.

The Duke of Edinburgh Gold Award has given me an opportunity to use skills learnt from 8 years of scouting, including numerous first aid courses. I am one year into the award and hopeful of completing it within the next two years.

The road to becoming a practicing doctor is a long and very demanding one but I believe I have the motivation, commitment and ability to succeed.

Acquiring various skills through numerous activities, I feel that I will be more than capable of contributing both academically and physically to the medicine course at to a higher education institute.

Description: 
I am finding it very hard to cut down to get it to fit on my ucas form. I could really use some suggestions on how to make it spark a bit more or show my real desire to do the course. Should I reduce the size/emphasis of my out of school activities? Do I need to use more medical terms and describe more of what I learnt from my grandfather in hospital? HELP!
Year applied: 
2004
Subject: 
Medicine

Comments

did you get a place a medical

did you get a place a medical school?

hi im really sorry but i

hi im really sorry but i think this personal statement didn't start off too well u dived right in about your grandfather and it wasn't good enough

dont agree with that last

dont agree with that last comment bout divin rite on in there, i think it engages the reader. Certainly did me any way.
Dude u can trim sum stuff by not reapeating yourself(interacting improved my interaction skills)!Just say liasing with customers improved your interactive capabilities. You could maybe work on the structure too cos its a little disorganised.
Hope this helps?!

Impressed

Hi, I thought that this PS was good- the intro had a personal touch that wasn't always there on ps's that start by giving details of the applicants 'love of science'. What unis did u apply for?

the grandad comment was the

the grandad comment was the best, it rocked my world.

You mentioned that your

You mentioned that your interest in medicine developed further to your grandfather's illness. I think that if everyone who had a relative in hospital developed the desire to become a doctor, the medical profession would be seriously lowering their standards. You need to substantiate your reasons for studying medicine and entering into this prestigious profession. Express your reasons that are pertinent to the application and give examples of expereiences other than the one provided. Good Luck - youre gonna need it if thats the best statement youve come up with.

hmmm first of all i thought

hmmm first of all i thought you sounded a little 'full of yourself' easy on there brov and well the beginning is just somthing me and my friends cud hav a laf bout over lunchtime. u made my day!

very good

I thought it was a bit too wordy though

If I were you I'd start by

If I were you I'd start by taking out all the adjectives so that it still makes sense. Crisp clear statements sound better and it shows a clarity of thought. Of importance for a doctor no?
The statement is about conveying ideas and attributes in a very short space, so try and say things only once.

Don't state the obvious..

Don't state the obvious.. excercising the mind is important?? at best it sounds childish, at worst it sounds condescending, There are Doctors reading this!!!

Have you done any work

Have you done any work experience, if so include it in your P.S. I have to agree that this statement sounds very egotisitcal. You should perhaps tone it down.

not bad..

i didn't think it was egotistical.. personal statements are about selling yourself on paper...just a little disorganized but quite gd on the overall. :)

This personal statement is

This personal statement is very good-but for universities you have to state why you want to do medicine in the first paragraph to grab their attention

Poor personal statement.

Sorry, but this personal statement sounds like too much ranting and most of it is irrelevant. I got bored after the first sentence but still read on... Don't fret. A number of other people write much worse personal statements than this.

Don't take this the wrong way

Don't take this the wrong way but it sounds on the personal statement as though you are a bit full of yourself i would remove comments like exercise the mind and the philanthropist comment at the start. hope this helps

Hi i thought the start was

Hi i thought the start was good but yh it could have been worded differently. u need to add more stuff bout wrk experience. did u get an offer?

Your statement is 4400++

Your statement is 4400++ charactors including space. The maximum is 4000...how did you manage to apply?

Many disparaging comments

Many disparaging comments from doctor's who should know better. Just shows the egotitistical nature of some of those at the reigns in ouor health service.

Have you done the BMAT and

Have you done the BMAT and UKCAT?
How was it?

How do you register for BMAT?

Wow

That is a really good ps. The fact that uve started with something personal makes it unique and really attracts the reader..well done

Improve links

You need to be more specific with what you have have gained out of your work experience. You are too general: you talk about doing work with the elderly but never say what and how that has helped you?
Your Sikh scrolls seem to float around in the text - structure your paragraphs better.
& finally good luck!!

Your Paragraph about you

Your Paragraph about you subjects in school is almost identical to another PS on this website but yours was posted after?

I would try avoid copying, you never know they might search online!

other than that i thought it was good, like the personal touch!
although a bit more work experience may have helped..

another one mentioning 100

another one mentioning 100 year old grandad?!? you could come up with something different...seen that on several statements before.

I am quite impressed with

I am quite impressed with this.
I like your introduction and use of the word philanthropic.
The only thing i would say is that, though the points you make about your love of science and desire to help people are valid, you have not said why spesifically being a doctor is what you want. Why not a nurse? Surely they use science to help people?

CNTVGCGcOO

I truly appreciate this blog post.Thanks Again. Really Great.

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