Social Work Personal Statement Example 2

I find this personal statement lacks both structure and good english.
Yet shows a common knowledge of the subject.

I think this personal statement is badly writen. It does however, cover the topics needed in a PS but the poor language grammatical structure hinder it somewhat.
I feel you are including what you think the admissions tutor wants to hear and not what you are like as an individual. Be true to yourself.

stumbled into this PS and I think it to be more of a biography and a list of achievements with poor constructed grammar...anyhow,I hope she made it to UNI lol..in a bit

Poorly written needs gramatical improvement otherwise...useful

i find you people really rude
this candidate has obviously tried really hard and has the fundamental knowledge to study sociology.
i belive the statement is very good, the person sounds interesting and seems intelligent enough to study this course at uni, after all the candidate wants to study sociology not english.!!!

i had a quick read at your statement and just wanted to say thanks for posting it, i myself am trying to put together my own statement for my social work degee and struggling. hope you get into unixx

I want to do Social Work myself at Uni and i'm in the process of writing up my personal statement. However, i don't think this PS should be a guideline for those that are finding it hard to start up there's as it lacks alot of what is needed and also how you present yourself to be. After all isn't writing a PS about telling the tutor who you are and what sort of person you are, what interests you and something maybe people have never thought you would be interested in, what you ave done and have acomplished, something out the ordinary that will make the tutor think twice and realise that this is someone who really wants to study this course. Don't lie.. you will only be foolinf yourself and at the end of the day your gona be the one coming out of uni doing something your not even interested in. The main question is What do you want to study at Uni? And also Why? Be true man..

This is a poorly written statement that with some editing could turn out to be good.

This is a good statement however i feel its too short and doesnt really tell the uni a lot about you.

this is ill!

This is a very poor PS. It does not have good English structure and is does not motivate anybody.

This is a very poor PS. It does not have good English structure and it does not motivate anybody.

I find the hardest area of writing my personal statement to be the introduction. I have been reading through many personal statements over the past few weeks, and this, I think is one of the worst examples. It's more a 'what-not-to-do' than a positive guideline. Although, finding a good, solid personal statement from somebody applying for Social Work is not an easy thing to find. Perhaps the person to which this statement belongs to just left out unnecessary words like 'and', 'with' and 'to' to use less of the 4000 characters. Fluency in English and correct grammar are essential factors in writing a personal statement.

this is ps is quiet a guide line for me personally has am trying to write a ps myself bt ur ps gives me an idea of what anm going to write.tx

hey i fink yo PS is good,u gav m ideas of what i shud write for myn..wishin u da best.hey n dnt mind all these people hu sain its nah gd cuz u did well.

Hi,i think your personal statement could be better with the english literature skills, but i have used it as i a guideline to get in to university and it has helped so far, so well done for bringing it out and i hope you got in to university.. all the best!!!

I am currently writing my personal statement for social work and i have found this example lacks its suppose of being a sample as it is poorly written even though it shows the individuals interest in the subject

Is English your first language? I do not mean that in an offensive way.

The ps needs some serious tidying up. However, i believe that it contains material that has potential.

I do think that you would benefit greatly by undertaking a literacy course though.

As am a student planning my presentation, I do not think I will make a fair comment.

I give credit to the writter for the fact that he/she published for all us read and get ideas.

Many people are saying how bad this ps is however mine is awful compared to this can any one help me. Advice or more copies please Hippychick182@hotmail.co.uk

I think your PS was realy good, and it help me writing my own! But then again I am an international student and didn't look at the things the others said was bad. But it gave me ideas for my own. Thank you!

Those who are upset by the fact that many commentators find this profile a little weak need to reflect on this sentence.

"I also at in my private time tend to go to old people house who are disabled because one of my close relative is there also this house is opposite my house so I go in and talk to different people and talk or play games with them."

"I also at in" is very poor grammar. The word "tend" seems out of place. So 'tend' to go in but not always? What are you saying?

"go to old people house who are disabled" What does this mean?

"I go in and talk to different people and talk or play games with them."

So you talk and talk? This is repetition.

I am an admissions tutor for a social work course. This personal statement would not stop me offering the person an interview, but it would not impress me much either.

this person wants to study social work, not sociology as a few people have said. lol

was not the best iv seen really

I left school in the 80s and in those days for the working class people ,uni wasnt an option.Bringing money into the house to help the family.So i started work at 16 and gave my mother board money.During my life i have had two children and worked in a glass factory for 12 yrs.When i left there i didnt know anything else apart from looking after children so i went and started free childcare courses,working in different childcare settings.In 2006 i realised i wanted to be a social worker.I applied for a job as an residential worker in a secure unit and ive been working there for four yr now.In 2008 i passed my NVQ level 3 in health and social care and now im starting an acess course before i apply for the social work degree course.
I would like to considered for a place on the social work degree course because i have life experiences.I want to help families and young people stay togeather.
I have some skills that will help me in social work and the other skills im willing to learn on the way.Im determind to be successful in social work and to show working class people that they too can achive qualifications and a dream job.

A personal statement needs not only to show off your skills, but that you can actually succeed in the course (writing essays, doing presentations - both include using good english and writing skills, even if you are not doing an english degree, as someone has commented!!) I am currently in my third year of an Education Studies degree, and call tell you that even a vocational subject such as this requires a great deal of academic writing skill, and universities are looking for someone who not only has relevant experience, but will be able to complete essays and assignments and a 10,000 word dissertation to a good/excellent standard! After all, i'm sure it costs the govt and uni a hell of a lot to take a student through uni. Looking at this PS i struggle to see how this person will get through university, and i'm only at Bath Spa, which isn't exactly academic!!

very useful to get an impression as to what other people are writing. I wouldn't fancy my statement under the microscope so could those critics kindly keep it to themselves please.

Thank you, now know what I need to do :)

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Even before starting to write your PS did you take a look to different resource because they are so useful!
They are definitely not saying what you should write but still these resources are very helpful specifically if your PS is not structured!
I will recommend you to restart from the scratch and use these resource to create a plan :
http://www.gradschools.com/article-detail/grad-statement-114
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/642/01/
http://www.ucas.com/how-it-all-works/undergraduate/filling-your-applicat...
Good luck!