Primary Education personal statement

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A big passion of mine involves anything remotely creative. I have numerous creative outlets such as card making, jewellery making or even something simple as designing a new house in computer game. My main outlet thought is food. I enjoy entertaining people. Watching people enjoy your food and then asking for the recipe gives me a buzz. Personally, I think that creativity plays a big part in learning as you have to be able to adapt and adjust your learning plans to take into account the progress of your students.

Description: 
Im unsure, please help me with this - what do you think?
Year applied: 
2009
Subject: 
Education

Comments

creating houses in a computer

creating houses in a computer game? i cant really tell what course you want to study. it sounds more like you want to take a creative art course or something like that. you should talk about things that relate to the course more to start with.

Hi, I don't proclaim to be an

Hi, I don't proclaim to be an expert at this, but I have typed a few suggestions for you to consider in brackets....I hope this helps : )

A big passion of mine involves anything remotely creative. I have numerous creative outlets such as card making, jewellery making (or even something simple as designing a new house in computer game.-possibly rephrase this section?) My main outlet (thought- spelling) is food. I enjoy entertaining people (possibly link the above and sentence below together?). Watching people enjoy your food and then asking for the recipe gives me a (buzz- choose a different word). Personally, I think that creativity plays a big part in learning as you have to be able to adapt and adjust your learning plans to take into account the progress of your students.

it sounds like your saying..

it sounds like your saying...im a creative person, i like cooking and playing on the sims.
you need to get to the point.
what do you want to study?
why?
what made you have such an interest?
whats special about you in relation to the chosen course?

The personal statement is too

The personal statement is too short ...
Sometime the faculty head is reading it as the scale to determinate accept you or not , you should put more effort in it

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