English Personal Statement

JK Rowling had her midnight cafes; Roald Dahl's garden shed has produced wheelbarrows of children's literature and the Bronte sisters roamed the vast expanse of the Yorkshire moors. I personally retreat to a caravan at the bottom of my garden where I find the creative stimulus required to write prizewinning poetry and biology essays alike

Whilst some people are terrified by, or worse, ambivalent towards modern poetry, I fail to remain unmoved after reading Jean 'Brita'Breeze' s "Moonwise" which epitomises the strength of emotion found within a short verse. The beautiful simplicity of the syntax found in such work inspires my creative writin; my poetry has won national competitions and been published in anthologies. Thus my daily diet of literature is a colourful juxtaposition of John Donne's solipsistic love poems, Tess Durbeyfield with her compassionate mentor Hardy and the infamous nobody Mr Pooter. A level English has not dictated but cultivated my critical opinions through analysis of such texts, and so I have been able to appreciate the subtly of fine writing, for example in Joyce's 'Dubliners'

The other subjects I am taking for A level support and complement my continual study of English. The methodology applied to research and evaluate critical arguments undertaken for A level history independent study are paralleled during my consultations with Bradly about Othello. A level biology demands the application of analysis with knowledge, and through my AS physics course I was selected to participate in the Engineering scheme, which enhances my ability to work in a team and to produce reports and presentations. Such attributes were firmly in place after my work experience at the publicity department of Bloomsbury publishing, and in my duties as elected Head Girl

The majority of my extra-curricular activities demonstrate the aptitude I have for English; I write articles for the school magazine, take acting coaching and was the lead role in an all-female production of William Golding's "Lord of the Flies."I was awarded a sports scholarship for sixth form, play hockey for the school first XI and represent Somerset at the South West England hockey trials. To the amazement and horror of my friends I have started a running club at my college and the sport has given me great self-motivation and a sense of humour. My outside interests are huge, literally. After hockey and orchestra I regularly have to employ my skills as a manipulator to fit my cello and hockey goal keeping kit in the boot

Although some would argue the study for an English degree is not vocational I see the next few years of my life as the opportunity to become immersed in a subject I love. To develop my potential as a writer, I need to analyse and understand the work of those who inhabit library shelves. This course offers me the chance to explore the depths of Shakespeare, unravel the mysteries of Byron and grow in confidence as a literacy critic and person.

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Ratings

Statement rating:***

Comments

I wonder, is the fantastic

I wonder, is the fantastic use of language or the work experience of greater importance?

I'm not sure why on earth

I'm not sure why on earth this personal statement has three stars - the person is full of themselves and admissions tutors hate that!! Maybe if they mentioned the official name of one of the national poetry competitions that they have won it would sound a bit better.

To me it reads as if you're

To me it reads as if you're just chucking as many authors names in as you can fit. A couple to the areas you're particularly passionate about is ok, but there's a limit...

you have to be full of

you have to be full of yourself! personal statements are all about yourself, your dreams and your personal beliefs.

i find the beginning of this statement wonderful and truly original

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooser

ok i got to the second

ok i got to the second paragraph and couldnt read anymore...

"able to appreciate the subtly">>> subtlety...

"writin" >>> writing...

^o)

"The strength of emotion" -

"The strength of emotion" - that seems rather vague to me, as does "national competitions" - more detail on these competitions would be more likely to impress. I think that overall I don't think it's show-offy, with the possible exception of the first paragraph. The rest is simply showing off this person's gifts, which is what a personal statement should be doing.

it doesn't seem like a

it doesn't seem like a personal statement..
it seems too complicated and more about talking about random authors and bigging themselves up then anything.
It's good, but I don't think it's right for me.

I chose to view this personal

I chose to view this personal statement after assuming that it's three star rating would qualify it as one of the best...I was sorely disappointed :/

you are trying too hard.

you are trying too hard.

Good God. Please don't tell

Good God. Please don't tell me that all that drivel is necessary? It's like an item description on eBay - "how well can you sell yourself?".
Oh dear...

'Thus my daily diet of

'Thus my daily diet of literature is a colourful juxtaposition of John Donne's solipsistic love poems...' It seems you also enjoy a fair share of horseshit for breakfast, lunch and dinner because this just stinks!

An admissions tutor can smell

An admissions tutor can smell bullshit a mile running-the fact that you have alluded to prize winning poetry without any substantive explanation of which one, when and what you derived from the experience looks like bullshit even if it isnt-remember they arent actually going to bother asking you for an interview if you dont spell out what exactly it is you have done to deserve one (unless your endless spout of hyperbole strikes a chord with someone which I seriously doubt)

this is actually so

this is actually so irritating

try spelling "right" in the

try spelling "right" in the right context and you might have a chance too..

Comment

I feel that you are a little harsh on her. (Yes she is a female I believe, having been Head Girl, so read thoroughly before dismissing - though I must admit she has a masculine tone)

She has a fresh and original style; the opening line was excellent and humour was used effectively.

That said, I do agree that some punctuation and word use needs checking.

Best of luck, with refinements, this is great.

it is literary critic not

it is literary critic not literacy!

It was interesting, but that

It was interesting, but that's not a personal statement; that's an opinion. I couldn't see anything about yourself as a person except for the fact that you seem to enjoy using complex words far too often and that you like literature.

ahahhahahahahahha

ahahhahahahahahha

although it loses some

although it loses some strength after the first paragraph, i love the opening line: so refreshing, when reading page after page of "i have been interested in literature since i was a child..."

also, keep the joke. its good. personality.

owen planty

calm down nerds

This opening is amazing!

This opening is amazing!

Awful, awful spelling.

Awful, awful spelling.

"Tess Durbeyville...have you

"Tess Durbeyville...have you even read the book?"

Have you? Tess DURBEYFIELD, as used in this p.s is entirely correct, as that is her family name. I am sure you're thinking of Tess of the D'URBERVILLES, which is the name of the rich family nearby. Maybe you should read a little further into the book than its cover before commenting...

I'm looking for a quality

I'm looking for a quality personal statement to give me an idea of how i'm going to approach mine, but this really puts me off the idea of being in a English Lecture at Uni if i'm surrounded by these people who sit in caravan's at the bottom of their garden!

Full stops are always

Full stops are always appreciated by admissions tutors.

This seemed really promising

This seemed really promising at the start... until I realised that you clearly cannot spell and are a bit too proud of yourself!

Putting a joke or two in can

Putting a joke or two in can work but it's not meant to read like a parody...

...

'My outside interests are huge, literally.'

and apparently so is her ego...

this must be a joke...if you

this must be a joke...if you read it closely it just seems like an absoloute p*ss take!

I love the opening sentence-

I love the opening sentence- it is very unique!

ok there are clearly some

ok there are clearly some flaws but i'm detecting a little jealousy.. this girl has so much backing her and she's communicated that affectively without sounding tooo big headed in my opinion (its a personal statement- you have to big yourself up)- head girl, huge range of interests and hobbies, demonstration of her ability.. also i think the style is appropriate considering she's applying for english, why not show you can write an essay?.. Y'all need to calm down on the hatin :/

To all those commenting about

To all those commenting about how she's included too much extra curricular activity and outside reading, I hope you enjoy studying at some poly in a really bad area.

Great closing para

I like your last paragraph, it really saves the statement, which I found slightly too pleased with itself. I can see you've tried hard not to be too boastful though, and I respect you for that - you have obviously achieved a lot.

I find it somewhat difficult

I find it somewhat difficult to believe that an admissions officer would have appreciated this student to have likened themselves with Roald Dahl and JK Rowling. There should be less obvious self-flattery in this. Pretty appalling and embarassing really

Wan King

Are you applying for a degree in advanced Masturbation?

How does going running give

How does going running give you a sense of humor? I have no idea... Someone please enlighten me.

Another note: it's Jean

Another note: it's Jean 'Binta' Breeze!!

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