Agriculture Personal Statement
Ever since i watched "shaun the sheep" on CBBC, i have been passionate about becoming a farmer. For me, nothing in life would be as good as a farmers life; driving a tractor really slowly and holding everyone up, speaking in an "ooh argh" farmer accent, immediatly gaining a farmers wife upon becoming a farmer, almost guaranteed fame due to presence in most adverts regarding bread/wheat/cereal, wearing clothes that died out decades ago, and most importantly raising animals in order pit them against each other in a gladitorial pit. I hope that by studying agriculture at university that i will be able to become a good farmer and therefore attract ridicule towards me simply by being a farmer.
i am particularly looking forward to losing the ability to speak proper english and learning about the relationships between weird sex acts between farmers and animals around the world (for example the famous welsh-sheep relationship). i believe i have a multitude of skills which will make me a good candidate; i have no knowledge of the world outside england, i frequent nearby towns and villages in muddy welly-boots, and I have a full faced ginger beard.
Outside of school, i enjoy shooting animals (such as foxes and pigeons) as i believe they deserve it for being dumb. i also enjoy going to farmers markets and marveling at how much money i could make if i set the prices of my future products at ridiculously high prices as well. I often take part in local pub quizes, but due to my lack of knowledge of everything except the history of the pasteurizer, i often cause my team to lose, not least because i drink too much milk and boldly state that "this milk aint nearly as good as the milk me Daisy makes!".
Af'er gradua'ing from uni, me life aint half been turned around! got me a nice farm in mali; haven' heard of the place meself but 'parently it's got lotsa potential and is nice this time o' year. just folla yer dreams kids!