How to Cope with all the drinking

Not doing it just won’t cut it here. Not drinking, well… how much fun is that going to be? We want fun, we love fun, but it’s the puking afterwards that’s no good, the slamming headache and complete inability to walk.

So, prepare first.

Eat. Doesn’t matter what it is but eat while drinking. Peanuts and crisps are a pub favourite, the effects of the drink will be dulled by eating. Have something to eat first, go for a drink down the uni bar straight after a meal for the best results.

Don’t just have a skin-full. Take your time, this is not a race, unless you’re playing one of those drinking games, and then of course it is. The aim of drinking is not to get drunk so that you fall over but so you have more fun. Instead of shorts try a pint of weak beer or cider. You might even be able to get away with a lager-top or a shandy, you light-weights. Of course you could always try having a glass of water in between pints, that way avoiding dehydration (fatal for the morning after) and prolonging your sobriety. Don’t mix drinks either, as this is likely to have you falling face-first to the floor well before you get home.

Build up to it. There’s no point going to your first party and drinking two pints and three whiskey’s: you’re going to puke. Don’t do that to yourself, the rest of the night you’ll slobber round apologising for puking over people and telling everyone you love them two hundred times. Have a couple of pints, wait for your head to feel like it’s floating and then give up on the alcohol and start on the orange-juice. At the next party you can push yourself a little further, try drinking a couple of pints a day for a few months and eventually it’ll have very little effect. Within six-months you’ll be able to drink someone under the table, even if it is only the newbie.

Of course all this advise is probably too late for you anyway. You want to know the cure for a hangover don’t you? There are hundreds, and some of them may work for you, the only way to find one is to keep trying. General good advise is to drink plenty of water and try to get some sleep, but you weren’t going to do much more than that anyway were you. A fry-up, hair-of-the-dog, various strange concoctions featuring raw eggs and or vinegar and tomato juice, may all find you feeling a little better. If not try taking an aspirin. And try to remember for next time...

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