English Personal Statement Example 8

I wonder, is the fantastic use of language or the work experience of greater importance?

I'm not sure why on earth this personal statement has three stars - the person is full of themselves and admissions tutors hate that!! Maybe if they mentioned the official name of one of the national poetry competitions that they have won it would sound a bit better.

To me it reads as if you're just chucking as many authors names in as you can fit. A couple to the areas you're particularly passionate about is ok, but there's a limit...

you have to be full of yourself! personal statements are all about yourself, your dreams and your personal beliefs.

i find the beginning of this statement wonderful and truly original

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooser

ok i got to the second paragraph and couldnt read anymore...

"able to appreciate the subtly">>> subtlety...

"writin" >>> writing...

^o)

"The strength of emotion" - that seems rather vague to me, as does "national competitions" - more detail on these competitions would be more likely to impress. I think that overall I don't think it's show-offy, with the possible exception of the first paragraph. The rest is simply showing off this person's gifts, which is what a personal statement should be doing.

it doesn't seem like a personal statement..
it seems too complicated and more about talking about random authors and bigging themselves up then anything.
It's good, but I don't think it's right for me.

I chose to view this personal statement after assuming that it's three star rating would qualify it as one of the best...I was sorely disappointed :/

you are trying too hard.

Good God. Please don't tell me that all that drivel is necessary? It's like an item description on eBay - "how well can you sell yourself?".
Oh dear...

'Thus my daily diet of literature is a colourful juxtaposition of John Donne's solipsistic love poems...' It seems you also enjoy a fair share of horseshit for breakfast, lunch and dinner because this just stinks!

An admissions tutor can smell bullshit a mile running-the fact that you have alluded to prize winning poetry without any substantive explanation of which one, when and what you derived from the experience looks like bullshit even if it isnt-remember they arent actually going to bother asking you for an interview if you dont spell out what exactly it is you have done to deserve one (unless your endless spout of hyperbole strikes a chord with someone which I seriously doubt)

this is actually so irritating

try spelling "right" in the right context and you might have a chance too..

I feel that you are a little harsh on her. (Yes she is a female I believe, having been Head Girl, so read thoroughly before dismissing - though I must admit she has a masculine tone)

She has a fresh and original style; the opening line was excellent and humour was used effectively.

That said, I do agree that some punctuation and word use needs checking.

Best of luck, with refinements, this is great.

it is literary critic not literacy!

It was interesting, but that's not a personal statement; that's an opinion. I couldn't see anything about yourself as a person except for the fact that you seem to enjoy using complex words far too often and that you like literature.

ahahhahahahahahha

although it loses some strength after the first paragraph, i love the opening line: so refreshing, when reading page after page of "i have been interested in literature since i was a child..."

also, keep the joke. its good. personality.

calm down nerds

This opening is amazing!

Awful, awful spelling.

"Tess Durbeyville...have you even read the book?"

Have you? Tess DURBEYFIELD, as used in this p.s is entirely correct, as that is her family name. I am sure you're thinking of Tess of the D'URBERVILLES, which is the name of the rich family nearby. Maybe you should read a little further into the book than its cover before commenting...

I'm looking for a quality personal statement to give me an idea of how i'm going to approach mine, but this really puts me off the idea of being in a English Lecture at Uni if i'm surrounded by these people who sit in caravan's at the bottom of their garden!

Full stops are always appreciated by admissions tutors.

This seemed really promising at the start... until I realised that you clearly cannot spell and are a bit too proud of yourself!

Putting a joke or two in can work but it's not meant to read like a parody...

'My outside interests are huge, literally.'

and apparently so is her ego...

this must be a joke...if you read it closely it just seems like an absoloute p*ss take!

I love the opening sentence- it is very unique!

ok there are clearly some flaws but i'm detecting a little jealousy.. this girl has so much backing her and she's communicated that affectively without sounding tooo big headed in my opinion (its a personal statement- you have to big yourself up)- head girl, huge range of interests and hobbies, demonstration of her ability.. also i think the style is appropriate considering she's applying for english, why not show you can write an essay?.. Y'all need to calm down on the hatin :/

To all those commenting about how she's included too much extra curricular activity and outside reading, I hope you enjoy studying at some poly in a really bad area.

I like your last paragraph, it really saves the statement, which I found slightly too pleased with itself. I can see you've tried hard not to be too boastful though, and I respect you for that - you have obviously achieved a lot.

I find it somewhat difficult to believe that an admissions officer would have appreciated this student to have likened themselves with Roald Dahl and JK Rowling. There should be less obvious self-flattery in this. Pretty appalling and embarassing really

Are you applying for a degree in advanced Masturbation?

How does going running give you a sense of humor? I have no idea... Someone please enlighten me.

Another note: it's Jean 'Binta' Breeze!!